A little lost… I’ve definitely ridden Cody more than my own horse. You’d think I could say, “Well at least I’m in the saddle” but mentally, it’s not the same. Although having my little shadow with me is a definite plus, it’s not the same. I keep burying myself in work and not even purposely. I can feel myself getting stuck in a rut because of lack of consistency. It sucks and I’m sure I’m not alone in this either. I’d love to blame it on the winter but the weather has been amazing for December and it doesn’t look like it will be getting much colder any time soon.
There’s still a bit of anxiety going to the barn which doesn’t help. Couple that with the building anxiety of just getting on my horse? Definite possibility of disaster. My heart is starting to pound just looking at a mounting block and there’s just no reason for it. I don’t want to go through this again because Brantley is what keeps my head up out of the water so I don’t drown. But there’s no motivation for either of us.
After visiting Grasa, I had to ride my horse. I did my middays and sped to the barn. The BO had just pulled in while I was finishing up tacking and normally I would have invited her to come but I really just needed “Me and B” time, plus, I was on a time crunch and honestly didn’t want to make conversation. Heart pounding, I walked him to the block and just went for it. He was terrified leaving the indoor… and it just got worse walking across the neighbor’s driveway and then he finally had a mini meltdown approaching a stump that apparently hasn’t been there the past… forever. Especially with the giant snakes that were laying on it… Motionless… Ready for attack.
Completely terrifying… Ears were crossed, neck was in giraffe mode, shaking, heart pounding… I egged him on a little but instead of just moving forward, he buckled back and bolted back to the barn. I stopped him, spun him around and asked him to move up again and just try. We made it by, barely, and off we went. Everything was new out in the woods. I just put my hands forward and loosened up my seat, mentally preparing for anything. Lucky for me, he remembered how much he loved being a trail horse and we survived our first ride out since the last hunter pace.
Whoever said the winter was for training… Lies.