Oh the weather outside is frightful.
Actually, up until yesterday, it has been absolutely gorgeous!
Even yesterday wasn’t too bad minus the fact that it was so windy that a tractor-trailer rolled over on the Newport Bridge… Just a tad windy. Lots of power outages but luckily not at any of the houses that I’m taking care of. Yes instead of writing or working out or anything I snuggled with boxers and binge-watched Grimm while feeling sorry for myself. I’m allowed.
Unfortunately I wasn’t able to enjoy the nice Spring weather at the barn which added to my current frustration and lack of mental stability. At least I am lucky enough to work outside, although I think it definitely didn’t help driving by the barn 100 times just wishing I could stop everything and even just snuggle with Brantley. I’m getting pretty tired of giving myself pep talks and saying, “It’s okay. He’s okay. He deserves the time off and he’s handling it well. Focus on work. Focus on saving. It will be worth it. The work will be worth it. The stress will be worth it.”
I did get to ride about 10 days ago… and I think 10 days before that… and maybe 8-10 days before that. I just wanted to fit in a quick flatwork session the other day but as usual, Brantley had other plans. He was great and listened to my leg and was soft. Did everything I had asked without hesitation but you could tell he was holding back and wanted more. I figured I would take him out for a small hack on the trails so I dropped the rein and let him lead the way.
Per usual he dropped down the bank out of the arena into the cross-country course but instead of banging a right and heading to the trail, he wanted to wander around the jumps… And apparently jump them. So we did. Typical me, nervous and ridden with anxiety, I gripped my saddle horn (because of course we were in our western gear) and said okay go. What the hell did I do to deserve this horse.
Being able to sit and write finally is actually making me feel a little more at ease about where my head is. I could definitely use a win and I have never been one for quick fixes but I wouldn’t turn one away right now.
Thought of the Day: