First off, I really think we need to appreciate #equestrianlife tanlines for a moment… I think there was one year that I wore shorts right out of the gate and thought I’d never see my legs this fluorescent again. Well hello there pale skin!
Brantley and I had a pretty incredible clinic with Allison Springer the weekend before last and I’m really hoping that riding with her again is in the future. Nothing like being told, “You’re a talented trainer, he’s a talented jumper, you’ve done a great job.” Especially when you have that voice in your head constantly telling you otherwise. It’s also good to hear when a trainer understands why you’ve been trotting fences for a reason and she can appreciate it, but then turns around and says, “You’re better than that. It’s time to canter your courses.” And then we do.
And then we jump the big kid jumps… It’s only 2’6 she said…
I couldn’t have been prouder, just wish I had a little more media but I haven’t been really in the mindset to poke and prod for people to come along. I think my friend’s list has become a little rocky since last year after my whole… Thing… I focused on work so much over the winter and secluded myself long enough though that now I look in the mirror and say, “You need to do this for you.”
So I’ve kind of put hunter paces aside, decided to focus more on eventing, and I joined a band a few months ago. I am not mad about any of it whatsoever. It’s a lot of fun but it’s also a huge commitment. It’s not something I can decide to flake out on because I’m having a bad mental day. I’m learning that stability is something I need right now and this is a pretty great way to get it. I guess I can consider my weekly group therapy.
For some reason, Summer is never the easiest for me. It probably has to do a lot with LB as well as my workload is pretty much cut in half so I don’t have as much to keep me busy (although I still go pretty non-stop every day). I fill up every moment of my day so I have less time to think about things. Not having the energy to sit around and fret about others and if I’m living up to their standards is almost a blessing. I just don’t really care anymore. I just want to be happy.
All I care about right now is getting through the next few months and staying alive.
Just one day at a time.