Nonsense

Isn’t it weird. That feeling that you get in your stomach when you get a text that seems so innocent and just a normal “your horse did something dumb” … But you know it’s not? Obviously this could have been much, much worse. But also completely avoidable which is what is so frustrating about it.

Just a small cut and a bump on the leg to start. Then the swelling sets in and you know there’s something else brewing. “Stay calm. Stay positive. He’s probably fine.” First off, it’s good to stay positive, sure, but you also need to be realistic and prepared for the words that come out of the vet’s mouth as well. This absolutely could have been worse. I mean my first horse’s foot fell off… I’ve been through worse.

Lots of swelling. Minimal heat. No lameness. 100% attitude. I still knew something was just not right. I waited a few weeks to have the vet out to make sure swelling had gone down enough to be worth it. “Looks like a typical splint. But if you still want to do a couple x-rays, we can do that.” That was followed by a “Good call.” after he said, “Non-displaced lateral splint bone fracture.” Fuck… It could have been absolutely worse but… Fuck.

So that’s where we’re at. Okay for his run-in, as long as he stays quiet. A recheck in 4-6 weeks. Guess we’ll do Spring shots while we’re at it right? I was okay especially because I mentally was ready to give him time off anyway for the winter. That was the plan all along anyway… Fuck all of this it fucking blows is what my mind is saying. Especially having it be so nice out and him standing there staring at me looking quite miserable. I know dude, I know.

Feeling shitty and a little hopeless, all our 2019 goals up in the air because let’s be honest… I would rather give him the season off and have a sound horse for life than risk it for a few schooling shows. How do I cope? Take baby horse out for his first real trail ride. Everything happens for a reason right?

This dude was a total champ and brave as can be. Leader of the group both rides we took with a want to move out and run. That will come later though. Need a little more space and a good incline to really let him move.

Everyone has been great in making me feel okay. It’s like your therapist just walking out on you without warning, “Hey, going on vacation until… I say so.” Obviously Brantley is getting lots of extra love and cookies and snuggles, but I know he wants to be out working our butts out on the power lines as much as I do.

But until then, this little blonde is going to have to help me keep my chin up and soul centered. He’s proving to be one hell of a little horse and it’s going to be really really really hard to give him up… if I give him up.