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Insecurities

It’s getting warm out there which means it’s time to tuck those jackets away and rub on the extra deodorant so you can still hide under that sweatshirt. Or at least that’s how I feel right now.

Unfortunately the other day it was definitely too warm for a sweatshirt and that cued those early season body image insecurities… which of course sets the scene for the rest of your insecurities (even ones you forgot you had) to peek out of hibernation.

You know those little things that I’m talking about. Everyone has them, I don’t care how much positivity you throw out in the universe on the daily or if you don’t care what other people think. There’s always that little voice that points out that red spot on your face that’s really not that bad or the fact that your pinky toenail that no one sees is shaped funny (which spoiler alert! mine is).

What really matters is how far and how fast you let that spiral. Sometimes you stumble but get your footing and it’s all good… other times you stumble, catch your foot on a root, hit the ground hard, and find yourself tumbling down a hill grasping for anything you can on the way down.

I definitely lost my footing and let’s just say things got really dark, really fast… like really really dark. I won’t go into all the dirty details, but I pulled myself together and got to the barn and into the saddle.

It was a quick and easy ride with my main man and although the bugs were bad, the therapy was exactly what I needed. Top that off with a phone call from the best #horsehubby saying, “There’s mac n cheese here when you get home” – All of it just melted away.

It’s never a question of if you should ride, it’s only a question of how long it will take for you to get to the barn. They don’t care if your breeches are a little tight or if you’re a member of the BTC. #justride

In other news, B and I had our first jump lesson since Summer of 2018 pre-injury. Let’s just say, I have a lot of work to do but I can’t wait for our next one! Our biggest (meaning my biggest) weaknesses are balancing back while still moving forward, not panicking and just letting go, and cantering courses… You know, all of the important things that we had just figured out at the end of the 2018 season. I have faith we’ll get it back though. I’m just lucky B is so forgiving in the process.

Dylan is working on just chilling and figuring out that it’s not all about work and running around in circles. I can’t wait to get him out on a big trail ride now that his brakes are getting better and better. We actually had a nice trot on the barn trail loop with a loose rein! I was so proud of him.

📸 A. Hebert

We had a nice ride with AH today and even went on a little trail adventure. Dylan was such a great babysitter which is an important skill I want him to have. I’m so excited about the “little” unicorn he’s becoming, even more excited to share him with KT once the barn opens up to the public again. #ponyadventures are to be had this year!

That’s all I’ve got for you guys this week! Stay healthy. Stay safe. Stay happy. And if you need a pep talk you know where to find me! Love you guys 💖🦄

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